But know, my child.

Well hi. I was trying to figure out what to write about today and it was hard. I don't feel like I've been feeling the Spirit a lot lately, so I was like, sweet, how am I going to write this? As I was thinking about my lack of spirituality the past little while, a bell went off in my head and I realized that I can fix this! I have the blessing to have the Spirit as a constant companion, so there must be something in my life that I need to line back up with the Lord's will so I can feel the Holy Ghost more clearly.

Disclaimer: I know I always talk about trials, but this stage in my life is throwing me for a loop, and I need to keep learning how to get through these special times. ;)

If you know me, then you know I'm always stressed. I mostly stress about things that I can't control and that don't really matter and it's great. Today I was stressed after school. I wanted to talk to my Father in Heaven to ask Him what was going on. I don't even remember what I said, but I was just praying and walking, asking what I was supposed to do. As I wrote this post, I received my answer.

I've been struggling with school and life these past couple weeks and I keep wondering "why?" Why are all of these things happening to me and why do I feel so much anxiety when I'm just trying my best?

"7 For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee.
8 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer...
10 For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee."
3 Nephi 22: 7-10

Sometimes it feels like the Lord has forsaken us. This is how I felt at times during my mission. I wondered why that Lord was letting me feel so much pain. I felt so lost then, and these past couple weeks I have felt similarly. It's like I've just been floating around, stuck inside my head, with no direction. It's been hard. But as I read these verses, I remembered one of my favorite songs that goes right along with them. The song is called "My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee".

Read the lyrics while you listen:

For a little while hath I forsaken thee

But with great mercies will I gather thee

In a little wrath I hid my face from thee For a moment. But with everlasting kindness will I gather thee, And with mercy will I take thee ‘neath my wings, For the mountains shall depart, And the hills shall be removed, And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea, But know, my child, My kindness shall not depart from thee! Though thine afflictions seem At times too great to bear, I know thine every thought and every care. And though the very jaws Of hell gape after thee I am with thee. And with everlasting mercy will I succor thee, And with healing will I take thee ‘neath my wings. Though the mountains shall depart, And the hills shall be removed, And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea, Know, my child, My kindness shall not depart from thee! How long can rolling waters Remain impure? What pow'r shall stay the hand of God? The Son of Man hath descended below all things. Art thou greater than He? So hold on thy way, For I shall be with thee. And mine angels shall encircle thee. Doubt not what thou knowest, Fear not man, for he Cannot hurt thee. And with everlasting kindness will I succor thee, And with mercy will I take thee ‘neath my wings. For the mountains shall depart, And the hills shall be removed, And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea, But know, my child, My kindness shall not depart from thee!

Even though we can feel alone and that the Lord has forsaken us, He is always near.  He will gather us with everlasting kindness, and he will be with us through it all. The thing that matters is that we try even when it gets hard. Even though we aren't sure when the Lord will answer our prayers. Even when we feel like He isn't listening.

I will now quote some wise words from Avril Lavigne.
"Keep holding on, cuz you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through."