I won't shrink

I just wanted to share an experience I had earlier today.

I've been having a little bit of a hard time these past couple of days. I have to keep my mind really strong or I start comparing myself to others or feeling that I'm bad or not good enough because of the way my mission turned out. Everyone has their own challenges, and right now, mine is learning to be ok with the fact that I came home early.

I had a friend tell me about a devotional that Elder Bednar gave called, "That We Might Not Shrink." It talks about how it is important not to "shrink" when facing trials. Elder Bednar describes shrinking as retreating or recoiling. I learned that it is so important to face your trials head on, and face them with faith. 

Jesus Christ knows us better than we know ourselves, and he knows what we need. I realized that I need to have greater faith and to accept the Lord's will for me. I need to move forward with confidence in the lord and confidence in myself.

Elder Bednar talks about a time where Bruce C. Hafen was going through chemotherapy. Before one of his treatments he said to his wife, "I just don't want to shrink." That line is so powerful to me. I as well do NOT want to shrink during this trial of my faith, and so I won't. I want to come out of this with a stronger testimony and greater trust in my brother, Jesus Christ, and my Heavenly Father. 

I love the Lord, and I know that he is looking out for me as well as every single one of his children. He is mindful of us all, and that's so comforting to me. We are never alone.

Don't Cry for me Argentina

Just about 3 weeks ago I was in Mendoza, Argentina, serving my mission. 

I served as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for 3 months: Not your typical experience. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but also the most amazing thing ever! My mission didn't really turn out the way that I thought it would. I thought I would serve for 18 months until I came to understand that God had a different plan for me... PLOT TWIST. 

Being home is both easy and hard. I miss all of the members and our investigators in Argentina. I miss my trainer, Hermana Brown. She is truly one of the most amazing people I have ever met. That girl! Ahhh. Seriously an angel. I'm sad that I'm not fluent in Spanish. I'm sad that I physically/mentally wasn't able to accomplish what I had originally planned.... But it's ok. The Lord doesn't want us to have regrets. He wants us to work with what we've got and move forward in faith.

I am happy. :) I am happy that I get to be with my family. I am happy and SO THANKFUL that I got to serve. I am thankful that I was able to strengthen my testimony and learn more about the love that the Savior and Heavenly Father have for me. I am thankful that I learned a little bit of Spanish! (hola. como esta. adios. #toldya) I am thankful that I don't have to feel so sad and so much anxiety all of the time anymore. That was really hard. I'm thankful for the all of the growing that I did on my mission and for the opportunities I still have to grow. I'm thankful that I get to learn how to deal with anxiety so I can be happier and stronger for the rest of my life. I am thankful for the new perspective I have on how to be a better missionary and disciple of Christ every day.

I feel very blessed, and I wouldn't change this experience for anything. Hermana Brown kept telling me before I came home, "Remember Hermana Conlee, the cup is always half full, not half empty!" See? Seriously she rocks. Love her. But isn't that great advice no matter what stage of life we are in? To always look on the bright side and count your blessings? It is possible to find joy in the journey.

The Lord knows every single thing that has happened and will happen to us. He has a specific plan for everyone, and our job is to find out what that is. What is the point of life if we aren't doing the Lord's will ya know? Our plan won't look like anyone else's; we all have our own life mission.

Life is good and God is good!! We are sooo blessed! Plus, not going to lie. The U.S.A. knows what's up. It's a good place with heaters and air conditioning and all that jazz. #countyourblessings