When You Forget How To Read

Remember when I said that my last post was the last one of the semester? Well apparently I can't read, so THIS is officially the last one (insert cry laughing face here).

So let's pretend that I took a survey of every person at BYU who is single, and I asked them what their #1 problem/stress was (not including school duh). I might be biased, but I think that most of them would say dating. BECAUSE IT IS SO HARD. If you are an anxiety driven person like me, you understand what I mean when I say that I am literally trying to decide if I want to date a person after our first encounter. I'm all, "Does he love the Lord? Is he good with children? I think I should be able to tell by the look in his eyes. Does he love his mom? Does he hate ice cream? Because if so we're over even though WE HAVE NOT BEGUN." I am fully aware of my insanity, thanks. I'm working on it.

But in all seriousness, my constant prayer to Heavenly Father is to guide me in all types of relationships. Friends, family, and dating relationships too. Today as I was studying, I found this scripture:

"For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own; justice continueth its course and claimeth its own; judgment goeth before the face of him who sitteth upon the throne and governeth and executeth all things." 
-D&C 88:40

We are supposed to become the best that we can, and in turn, we'll find those people who are supposed to be in our lives. We will find those with the same values who appreciate who we are. When we are following the Lord and doing His will, He will guide us. We don't need to stress or worry about things that we can't control.

Something that my Book of Mormon professor told us was that we are constantly asking God to tell us what to do, aka, we are asking Him to take away that agency that we fought for in the first place. Of course there are times when we need specific answers, but I've found more often than not, the answers to my prayers are, "Well what do you think?" or "How do you want me to help you with that?" (See Ether 2:23) God gave us agency and intelligence for a reason. If we are praying for guidance and making the best decisions we can, I know that the Lord is proud of us. I know that He will always help us with whatever we need. We just need to trust His judgement, and we for sure need to trust our judgement more often as well.

Whose on the Lord's Side?

It is crazy how quickly this semester has gone. This is my last blog post for my Book of Mormon class!

I want to talk about something that I learned in church today. It is about putting away everything that isn't from God.

"Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually."
-Moroni 7:12

The world just keeps becoming worse and worse. I sometimes find it hard not to get drawn into things that aren't very wholesome. I sometimes let my music slip up a little bit, or I'll watch something that isn't "all the way bad" but has some suggestive stuff. Today in church, I was reminded that I need to be doing those things that bring me closer to Christ. Lately, I have been tempted to let my media slip up, but I think it is important to remember what this scripture says. It says that anything that isn't from God is from the devil. You can't just sit on the fence. If it isn't uplifting, we don't need it.

In the scriptures (somewhere. Not sure where sadly.) it says that we need to forsake sin. To forsake is to forget, abandon, and stay away from. I don't want to be toying with sin, I want to be on the opposite side of the fence, close to Christ and able to feel His Spirit.

But know, my child.

Well hi. I was trying to figure out what to write about today and it was hard. I don't feel like I've been feeling the Spirit a lot lately, so I was like, sweet, how am I going to write this? As I was thinking about my lack of spirituality the past little while, a bell went off in my head and I realized that I can fix this! I have the blessing to have the Spirit as a constant companion, so there must be something in my life that I need to line back up with the Lord's will so I can feel the Holy Ghost more clearly.

Disclaimer: I know I always talk about trials, but this stage in my life is throwing me for a loop, and I need to keep learning how to get through these special times. ;)

If you know me, then you know I'm always stressed. I mostly stress about things that I can't control and that don't really matter and it's great. Today I was stressed after school. I wanted to talk to my Father in Heaven to ask Him what was going on. I don't even remember what I said, but I was just praying and walking, asking what I was supposed to do. As I wrote this post, I received my answer.

I've been struggling with school and life these past couple weeks and I keep wondering "why?" Why are all of these things happening to me and why do I feel so much anxiety when I'm just trying my best?

"7 For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee.
8 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer...
10 For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee."
3 Nephi 22: 7-10

Sometimes it feels like the Lord has forsaken us. This is how I felt at times during my mission. I wondered why that Lord was letting me feel so much pain. I felt so lost then, and these past couple weeks I have felt similarly. It's like I've just been floating around, stuck inside my head, with no direction. It's been hard. But as I read these verses, I remembered one of my favorite songs that goes right along with them. The song is called "My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee".

Read the lyrics while you listen:

For a little while hath I forsaken thee

But with great mercies will I gather thee

In a little wrath I hid my face from thee For a moment. But with everlasting kindness will I gather thee, And with mercy will I take thee ‘neath my wings, For the mountains shall depart, And the hills shall be removed, And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea, But know, my child, My kindness shall not depart from thee! Though thine afflictions seem At times too great to bear, I know thine every thought and every care. And though the very jaws Of hell gape after thee I am with thee. And with everlasting mercy will I succor thee, And with healing will I take thee ‘neath my wings. Though the mountains shall depart, And the hills shall be removed, And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea, Know, my child, My kindness shall not depart from thee! How long can rolling waters Remain impure? What pow'r shall stay the hand of God? The Son of Man hath descended below all things. Art thou greater than He? So hold on thy way, For I shall be with thee. And mine angels shall encircle thee. Doubt not what thou knowest, Fear not man, for he Cannot hurt thee. And with everlasting kindness will I succor thee, And with mercy will I take thee ‘neath my wings. For the mountains shall depart, And the hills shall be removed, And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea, But know, my child, My kindness shall not depart from thee!

Even though we can feel alone and that the Lord has forsaken us, He is always near.  He will gather us with everlasting kindness, and he will be with us through it all. The thing that matters is that we try even when it gets hard. Even though we aren't sure when the Lord will answer our prayers. Even when we feel like He isn't listening.

I will now quote some wise words from Avril Lavigne.
"Keep holding on, cuz you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through."

"For I will Lead you along"

Elder Uchtdorf's talk was SO good during the morning session of General Conference today! He talked about how we can't let fear rule our lives. Instead we need to have faith and trust in Christ.

I often live in fear of what the future will bring, but the words of Elder Uchtdorf brought me so much peace of mind. We can become so paralyzed by fear that we have a hard time recognizing the voice of the Spirit. Feelings of fear, hopelessness, and confusion are from Satan. We don't have to feel this way. Faith in the Lord brings peace, hope, and happiness. With the Lord on our side, we will always be ok. He will lead us along if we listen and are obedient to Him.

"And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours."
D&C 78:18